Question of the Week

My friend Jenny asked a question on her blog last week and I thought it would make a great question of the week for all my readers also, so I asked if I could copy her. :) I know some of you have already answered this on her blog, so don't feel you have to answer here if you don't want to--but if you do, go for it!

Anyway, her question was: "What things, looking back on your birthing experiences, do you WISH you had known before going into birth? What things would you advise a brand new mom-to-be to be cautious of?"

Before having Sam, I did a lot of reading and researching both in books and online, and found the subject of birth to be very fascinating. I knew from the start that I desired a natural birth with as few interventions and drugs as possible. I chose a hospital that had a large midwifery practice because I felt that would give the best chance of having that kind of birth. (Midwives tend to be more "natural-minded" than most OBs.) I really enjoyed the midwives in the practice, and thankfully I was able to have a great birth experience (I realize now that that is not necessarily "normal" for a hospital delivery). Anyway, after thinking and praying about it, researching some more, and talking to friends who had delivered at home, I chose to go with a homebirth for my second (and hopefully all future children). Where my first birth had been a great experience, my second birth was an excellent experience. Sometimes I wish I had considered homebirth as an option for my first . . . but since I just didn't feel brave enough to do that, I'm glad I was able to have a good hospital birth. I guess I said all that, to say that I feel it's very important for moms-to-be to really research and study about birth, and have an idea in mind of what their hopes and desires for birth are. Some people do not desire to go "all natural" and that's fine--but it's important to understand the risks of various medications, interventions, etc. I also think it's important for women to realize that it's their pregnancy and for the most part, they are in charge, not the OB or the midwife. Obviously there are times when a medical professional has to call the shots due to warning signs in a pregnancy or delivery. But as the mommy, you have the right to speak up if you're not comfortable with something. It's OK to question your health care provider--yes, they have credentials, but they are not all-knowing and can make mistakes.

Obviously, I have become a big fan of homebirthing, and would highly encourage women to look into it as an option. At the same time, though, I don't ever want to come across as pushy about it, because I realize that a lot of women (or their husbands) wouldn't be comfortable with the idea. I am blessed to have a husband that is as enthusiastic about homebirth as I am, and I think that's very cool. :) So anyway, while I try not to push homebirth on other people, I am more than happy to share my positive experiences if someone asks. And I'm more likely to recommend Ina May's Guide to Childbirth over What to Expect When You're Expecting, and "The Business of Being Born" over "A Baby Story. " :)

Another area I think moms-to-be should study up on, is breastfeeding. If you want to make it work, it's important to realize that it doesn't always come naturally, for both the mom and baby! An excellent book that a friend gave me when I had Sam is So That's What They're For! by Janet Tamaro. It's fun and easy to read, and was very helpful. It's also super important, if you have your baby in a hospital, that you make sure the nurses are on the same page with your desire to breastfeed. I know a couple of ladies who wanted to breastfeed, yet before they could even start trying, the hospital nurses were already giving their babies a bottle of formula! Thankfully that was not the case in the hospital where I had Sam . . . there was one nurse in particular who I appreciated SO much, because she literally spent several hours with me, helping me get Sam latched on and figure out the whole process. She and the other nurses also told me right from the start that I needed to nurse him as often as he wanted to--that it was a supply and demand principle. I was happy to have such good info. and support and I believe that helped us get off to a great start with breastfeeding.

One more thing and I promise I'll stop jabbering and let the rest of you comment. :) At my baby shower before Sam was born, the ladies all wrote down a bit of advice for me on a recipe card. I still have all those cards and read them over from time to time! I loved getting advice from older, more experienced moms. One thing that has especially stuck with me is this comment from one of my friends. She said, "Trust God! Don't read a lot of parenting books! The baby will be unique and will develop at their own rate. Raise them in the most Godly way that works for both of you." As I'm sure you can tell, I'm one who likes to read and learn, and I do think there are plenty of good things we can glean from books. But first and foremost, we need to trust God and use HIS Book for wisdom in parenting.

Well, sorry to have gotten so long-winded in this post! I guess I got a little carried away. :) I look forward to reading what the rest of you have to say! Oh, and no sign of baby coming yet . . . my midwife will be back sometime today or at least by tomorrow, so I'm hopeful that baby is waiting for her, and will arrive sometime later this week. We'll see! :)